Section 2 - For the hart
Instead of asking hart to try kissing the player:
try kissing hart.
Instead of asking the corpse to try walking properly:
if the corpse is the current interlocutor:
say "Considering that you are responsible for his partial dismemberment, you're hardly in a position to comment on any irregularities of gait he might now display.";
say "Mostly he seems inclined to remain very still on the ground."