Are you tired of the avant-garde, the experimental, the "interactive fiction" that thinks it's literature? Of overly smug, overly talkative NPCs? Or puzzleless plots that don't leave you feeling like you've accomplished something at the end? Are you looking for the old-fashioned goodness of a real honest-to-god text adventure?

Every once in a while, the best formulas are sacrificed in the name of so-called progress. Planet of the Apes. Duchovny and Anderson. Michael Jackson's actual face.

Even more rarely, you get an opportunity to have it all back. The way it was.

Presenting... the Textfire Classic line

No pretentions, no aspirations. Just game.

• Mazes
• Hunger puzzles
• Look-under puzzles and meticulous searching
• Plentiful locked doors and keys
• Unsubtle color-coding of related objects
• ASCII diagrams at unexpected times
• Randomized combat and sudden death
• NPCs limited to animals and the exceptionally taciturn
• Light source puzzles
• Inventory management and sack objects
• DIAGNOSE verb
• Z-code or HTML-free TADS only -- no "multimedia" nonsense
• Full score system -- because life should work that way
• And... ONLY ONE DAMN ENDING. When you're done playing, you'll know you've seen what there was to see. Guaranteed.